Best Rejection Letter Ever

Yes, I'm smiling.  Partly because I took this ski lift selfie a couple of weeks ago while Miss O skied adult-free with a pack of teenager friends & cousins.  But, more so because I received the best rejection letter ever.

As you know, I am writing a book.  As much as I'd like to think it will be published anytime soon, it won't be.  Writing a book is hard work.  It's like a roller coaster of emotion and perseverance.  Having a sabbatical to research and write is totally awesome.  Not having a sabbatical to research and write and working full-time is messy.  Very, very messy.

Since I don't have time to research and write at the moment, I sent my book proposal, which includes one sample chapter, to an assortment of agents and publishing companies of different sizes to obtain initial feedback.  Most feedback I've received has been extremely short - like 2-3 sentences short - or the feedback has been so vague that it is unhelpful.

That all changed when I received the best rejection letter ever!  I'm not kidding.  This letter is frame worthy.  I could kiss this literary agent for his honest, laser-focused feedback. He didn't just say, your book sucks.  Instead, he asked curious questions about its content, styling, and examples.  He pointed out places where he felt short-changed and wanted more.  After reading his two-page, double-spaced letter (it was written in an email to me), I completely agreed with him!  I thought his questions and areas of concern were dead on, which I hadn't considered before.  Using his feedback will 100% grow my project.  Since I'm calling the book, Grow: 8 Skills to Champion the Growth of Others, I am grateful for the best rejection letter of my lifetime.  He grew me.

What's next?  When mid-May rolls around and I have time to focus on writing again, I plan to do a few things with the feedback he provided:

1. Edit.  Oh, man, do I need to edit.  I'm trying to include too many concepts within a chapter. Less is going to be more.  I need to be pickier.
2. Provide more examples and lessen the "what would you do?" questions.  He pointed out that people are coming to my book for "how to" champion the growth of others not coaching questions about "what does this look like in your environment?" (though I certainly can have a few of those coachy questions in the activities section I plan to provide).
3. Be the expert.  Own it.  In my current drafts, I tend to not voice what I think is the solution, but instead rely on proven experts to make the case.  After 25 years of working with kids, teens and adults in amazing environments, it's time for me to speak up about what really has worked for me and connect those ideas to other experts and research when appropriate.

I'm certain there is even more I will glean from his rejection letter.

Being rejected has never felt so good.

Jen

PS - In case you are thinking, who celebrates rejection letters?  Let me just say there have been a few rejections I've received lately that are not celebratory and I soon felt like a complete loser.  However, the sun rises the next day and the world keeps turning.  This quote keeps me company in the best way.

Love. This. Quote

Doesn't this quote totally speak to yesterday's blog post?  Sure speaks to me.

You?

xo,

Jen

50 Rejections Update

Back in February, I challenged myself to rack up 50 rejections.  I have to be honest.  I stopped counting around 25.  I'll explain more in a moment.  Before this challenge, I believe I misinterpreted most rejections.  In fact, it is almost hard to call them rejections right now.  What I discovered is that when people do not agree with me right away, or take my call, or jump on board with an idea I have, I take that as a rejection.

Now that I am more aware, this is what I've learned about putting myself out there and embracing rejection:

• I take things way too personally.
• Thus, I am embracing the Q-TIP philosophy to Quit Taking It Personally.
• Most of the time when I put myself out there during this challenge and was rejected, the person wasn't saying, "No, never!"  Instead, they tended to say, "Not right now, but interesting idea."  I took that as a rejection originally.  Now, I realize - at that moment in time - what I was pitching wasn't aligned with their needs.  More Q-TIP needed on my part.
• Other people's finances, time, and business strategy seemed to be why I racked up the most "no"s.  And of course, I was taking that personally.  It was all about me versus where that person's business or values were at the moment.
• Me!  That's probably the biggest lesson.  It is not all about me.  I became aware that the people or businesses who need me find me.  And the one's that don't need me at the moment, weren't saying, "We dislike you.  We will never need you."  Again, more Q-TIP needed.
• I also realized I felt rejected when friends or family members weren't taking my calls.  Yep.  I realized I even took those informal "I'll call you back later" throw-away lines as rejection.  

So, you can see why I could stop counting at 25.  Being so aware and looking for that feeling of rejection was a big light-bulb moment for me.  In hindsight, even the "no"s I received during this challenge took on a new air.  I felt more curious about the "no"s.  I stopped being hard on myself for not garnering support for an idea I had put out there.  I also realized that most "no"s don't mean no forever, but "No, not right now."

Rejection, I'm onto you!  You aren't so scary anymore.

Jen

50 Rejections

I have a problem.  I want everyone to like me.  That is nearly impossible as I can't be liked by every. single. human. on. the. planet.

But, I want to be liked by all of them.  I don't take rejection well.

Like most fears experienced, the best way for me to overcome them is to face them head on.  Usually, what makes the fear so scary isn't really that scary after all.  Most of the scariness lives in my own mind.

It is time to get over my fear of rejection.  To do that, so I can move forward with some really big dreams, I am aiming for 50 rejections.  Yes, I will now celebrate rejection and I can't wait to rack up my 50!  In fact, I am hoping for two major rejections this week - one from the Huffington Post, another from a big consulting company, and an assortment of minor rejections related to coaching.

It's going to be a big, juicy, rejection-laden week!  Actually, I think I'll be celebrating rejection for a few weeks to complete my 50.  By then, I expect to be a rejection pro.

Here's to rejection - Wish me luck!

Jen