Circle of Concern, Circle of Influence

We've discussed Stephen Covey's work before.  Remember the emotional bank accounts?  Today, we'll look at another one of his models that is helpful in prioritizing big to-do lists for work and life.

May I introduce his Circles model?  Covey's Circles model, this is a fabulous blog reader.  Fabulous blog reader, this is Covey's Circles Model.  

Basically, the model goes like this:  We all have things, topics, challenges or issues in life that affect us.  If I made a list of those, it might look something like this for me:

Items that are on my mind:

• Parenting Lil O
• Connecting with my college students
• Grading the giant stack of papers in front of me
• Marketing our condo in Colorado
• Fall
• My life tune-up (if you missed that post, read here)
• My cousin's documentary release this weekend
• My grandfather's health
• Growing Upcycled Education

However, if we use Covey's Circles model,  I would realize that I only have influence over a portion of those items.  Can I really control how the documentary release goes this weekend?  Can I tell Mother Nature to speed up fall?  Sure, I can send good healing vibes to my grandfather, but can a "cure" him and his ailments?

No, I cannot.  

But, I can be "concerned," and thus, all of those items would go in my "Circle of Concern."  I am concerned about them, but I am not influential.  According to my interpretation of Covey, it is a passive stance spending time being concerned.  Why not be active and influential with the items that you can have some effect on right now?

My "Circle of Influence" is just that.  It is those items that I can directly affect today.  It is a powerful, proactive stance.  Today, I do have influence over how I treat and interact with Lil O.  I have influence today and can grade all those papers in front of me (perhaps, I'll grade 3-4 a day so it isn't overwhelming).  I have influence today over how I market our condo and need to come up with a marketing plan like I did last fall, so we secure many ski rentals.

Do you see the difference?  Sit around and think (and often times worry) about an item (that's your Circle of Concern).  Or take charge now and be influential.  Your Circle of Influence.

Look at the items on your mind.  Which circle do they fit in?  

All the best,

Jen

Stephen Covey for Theories on Thursday

I may be ahead of myself as we have not yet covered emotional intelligence, but I think this post goes well with our discussion on poverty and yesterday's post about helping kids from poverty.  With that said, let's chat about Dr. Stephen Covey's Emotional Bank Account metaphor.

By the way, today is less "theory" and more bright idea.

(Photo from a Google search and Your Guide to Living; Photoshopped by Jen)

Dr. Covey has a metaphor that I consider when I am working with students or little O (and sometimes manage to forget when talking to my husband after a long day).  Sad, but true, on long days.  Dr. Covey calls it a person’s “Emotional Bank Account.”  Basically, each person you come in contact with has an emotional bank account - just like a financial bank account.  A person's emotional bank account accepts deposits and withdrawals.

Deposits are kind words, thoughtful feedback, a smile, love, kept promises, courtesy, respect, patience or a listening ear.  Withdrawals are negative comments, sarcasm, broken promises, lies, impatience and the list goes on.  Special note:  Each person values different things, so these lists of deposits and withdrawals will vary person-to-person.

Each time you interact with another person, you have an opportunity to make a deposit or withdrawal into their emotional bank account.  Which one will you choose?

With this metaphor in mind, consider the following questions:

• How are you making deposits in your students’ emotional bank accounts?
• How are you making unintended withdrawals? I am optimistic they are unintended....
• For students from poverty, how can you make deposits to their emotional bank accounts knowing financial deposits, from a teacher, would be an anomaly?
• Are you happy with your current “banking activity" overall?

If you want to students to embrace this metaphor, as well, consider this activity from Covey’s Google e-book.  The activity is for young kids, but it could be modified for any age, in my opinion.  It comes from Dr. Covey's book the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families.

If you need a good person to practice deposit making, choose a family member or loved one, as your guinea pig. 

Don't tell my husband, but I am secretly practicing emotional bank deposits on him.   And no, I don't think he reads this blog, so my secret is safe.  Mums the word. 

Off to make a deposit,

Jen